English Self-Reflection

In the course of one year I believed that I had grown significantly as a reader, writer, speaker, and listener. These four skills are remarkably important, not only in English class, but in school, and in life as well. Increasing my ability in these four skills had been a somewhat tough "journey", and an extremely gratifying one. This year, I need to strive to improve these skills to greater levels.

Growing as a reader last year, I did. At the beginning of last year, we began to read and analyze a novel called A Separate Peace. Reading this story, in conjunction with my Independent reading book Little Girl Lost, actress Drew Barrymore's biography, the tale of two high school boys bored me. Yet, the more I read, the more I realized what the author was trying to convey through his characters and plot, and the more I was interested in the characters. Through this, I grew as a reader. My tolerance for literature had been, if it doesn't catch my interest in the first few pages, I won't read it. This experience illustrated to me otherwise. Reading the play Romeo and Juliet, and the book Lord of the Flies were completely different experiences from the above one. These two plotlines were engrossing, and at the same time made me want to understand them through analytical reading, and writing journal responses. Journal responses forced me to reevaluate the plots and characters, look and critique including the how and why with the usual, where, when and who.

Through writing I was also able to analyze the short story The Gift of the Magi and the poem Traveling Through the Dark. These enjoyable experiences helped me grow in the aspect of paying attention to everything. Even in the smallest object there can be massive amounts of meaning, such as the two gifts in The Gift of the Magi, or glowing headlights in Traveling Through the Dark. Even more enjoyable was getting to write my own poetry, and create a poetry portfolio. Having written poetry for myself previous to that experience, I learned that many revisions go into a poem, instead of just keeping the first draft and branding it finished. I found that through revisions, I could convey exactly what I wanted to say without any extra "thoughts", that made the poem confusing and jumbled. My poetry grew volumes more meaningful to me and now interests other readers. All this, while still writing the poems for myself is a major growth, and is the accomplishment I am most pleased with, and have grown the most from.

Speaking is an obstacle that I have yet to clear, and will attempt t tackle this year. Speaking in front of an audience, especially an audience that I know makes me tense and shaky continues to be difficult. Using filler words such as um and like, was, and still is a major problem. I believed that I had somewhat overcome this obstacle in having done last years research project, but not completely.

Listening and discussions in class are other things that I need to become more open to this year. Talking, and voicing my opinions in class is very difficult for me because of the feeling of being "wrong", or having people think I'm wrong about things I feel strongly about. These feelings had emerged last year and had also been somewhat allayed, yet, this among other things are problems I must confront and mitigate this year.

My English class goals for this year are not many, but I believe they will help me immensely. I need to calm down when presenting class speeches. To appreciate literature, whether I can tolerate it or not, and look for the author's message are going to be the two things in the back of my mind when I read. Most important of all I need to believe in my comments and feelings before, when, and after I voice them. Confidence is the key, and without that key I know I won't be able to achieve any of my other goals for the year. For this year, these goals may likely be only the origin of what I will learn and accomplish this year, and will finish the year with more knowledge that I set out to obtain.